Bains de minuit, May 27, 1988

Thierry Ardisson: How many albums have you released till now?

FZ: 50.

TA: 50! Isn't it too much?

FZ: It's . . . For those who don't like my music it's too much, and it's not enough for the people who do it.

TA: Is it true that 70% of what you play or have played was recorded?

FZ: About the live shows, yes.

TA: You record everyone of your shows?

FZ:I didn't start recording all the material cause I couldn't afford the equipment. But as time goes by, yes . . . I've got recording truck.

TA: Can you tell us about your 2 last albums, Guitar and You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore?

FZ: Guitar is just guitar solos, one after the other. 90 minutes. And You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore is the first installment of a large series of music. The complete You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore is 6 double CDs, 13h30m of music.

TA: Don't you think that you will remain in the story of rock, not as a rock musician, but as a classical musician in the rock era?

FZ: Probably not. I don't think that it will happen.

TA: What do you think when your son Dweezil plays Zappa's music?

FZ: I told him not to do it.

TA: He did it. Why didn't he obey you?

FZ: Well, I don't blame him over the head . . . Anyway I told him that if he recorded one of my songs, that the radio stations would not play it . . .

TA: And that's what they have done?

FZ: Not in the United States. It hasn't been played . . .

TA: You'd like him to be something else than a rock musician?

FZ: No. Whatever he wants to be, even a superstar of baseball!

TA: In your songs, you very often attack the televangelists . . . Do you think that people like Jimmy Swaggart or Pat Robertson are dangerous?

FZ: I think that they are. I think that they are dangerous for the society. They are dangerous for people who do not wish to have a religion, and for those people who are Christians . . . and who wind up being embarassed by those men . . .

TA: Now they are in trouble in the States, no?

FZ: I wish they were in more trouble!

TA: Very often, during your shows, you play songs by The Beatles. And very often too, changing the words. You don't like the words of the Beatles?

FZ: What we did with these 3 Beatles songs was to change the words to be about Jimmy Swaggart . . . But it's an ironical way to tell the Jimmy Swaggart story . . . Because people here know the lyrics of the Beatles songs, so they wait for what's coming up, and all of a sudden it's other lyrics . . .

TA: But you like The Beatles?

FZ: Hum, not as much as The Rolling Stones . . .

TA: We're Only In It For The Money was a parody of a Beatles cover . . .

FZ: I rather like The Rolling Stones.

TA: What about the US elections? Cause in France nobody knows Michael Dukakis . . .

FZ: Dukakis is a short guy, coming from the state called Massachussets (it's a puritan state). He is from a Greek descent, and is an effective manager . . . He has demonstrated he is a practical man. Other than that, who knows . . . Georges Bush, we know who he is.
He has demonstrated that he is not a practical man. He has demontrated that he is the lap dog of Ronald Reagan (and, you know, a lap dog?). And, before that, he was the head of the CIA, so . . . You didn't know it? He ran the CIA. So if, for one time, you belong to the CIA, you can't resign.

TA: He is still working for them?

FZ: He still works for CIA. You can't forget what you learned. So if he is elected to the White House, I think we'll have a guy from the CIA at the White House.

TA: You know, in France, we have a questionnaire, that we call the Marcel Proust questionnaire, and we will play that with you. First is what is, for you, the depths of misery?

FZ: Travelling in Europe. Specially in Spain on Iberia airlines.

TA: Where would you like to live?

FZ: I would like to live anyplace where I feel like "on the day", without having to worry about having a passport.

TA: What is your dream of happiness?

FZ: That people should get along with each other, they feel each other and they don't hate for languages stories . . .

TA: What faults would you forget the most easily? Except yours.

FZ: I would say: small performance mistakes.

TA: Your favorite musician?

FZ: I would say Edgar Varèse.

TA: The quality you prefer in a man?

FZ: Honesty.

TA: In a woman?

FZ: The same.

TA: Your favorite virtue?

FZ: Not wasting time.

TA: You are not doing this now?

FZ: No, no.

TA: Your favorite occupation?

FZ: Playing music.

TA: What would you had liked to be if you were not Frank Zappa?

FZ: A scientist.

TA: What is the main feature of your personality?

FZ: Hard work.

TA: What do you appreciate the most with your friends?

FZ: That they don't waste my time.

TA: Your main default?

FZ: You'll pick it!

TA: Your biggest unhappiness?

FZ: Whenever a composition is not played well by the band.

TA: Your favorite color?

FZ: Purple.

TA: Your favorite flower?

FZ: Rose.

TA: Writer?

FZ: William Manchester.

TA: Poet?

FZ: E. E. Cummings.

TA: The thing you hate the most?

FZ: People wasting my time.

TA: The gift you would like to have?

FZ: People not wasting my time.

TA: The position in which you would like to die?

FZ: Quietly.

TA: The actual state of your mind?

FZ: Very calm.

TA: Your motto?

FZ: My motto? Hum, hum . . . Anything, anytime, anyplace, for no reason at all.

Transcribed by Lostinthiswhirlpool.

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