Them Or Us (The Book)

The Stories


Notes & Comments

FZ, Picture Disk Interview #2, 1984

It's due off the press in 2 weeks in the United States, and it's three hundred and sixty-something pages and I'm publishing it myself.

The first printing is 5000 copies.

It's a book for people who hate to read, and it's written in the style of a screenplay so that each situation is described in terms of what a camera would see, what the physical action is, what the people say and what they do. And so it takes you very quickly through some complicated situations where, if you had written it as a normal book it would be . . . like that.

And it's a fiction book and it's very funny.

The way it works is . . . in physics they have this thing that they've been looking for—it's the Unified Field Theory that explains the interrelationship between how gravity works and atomic energy and all this stuff—they're looking for one equation that explains it all and makes it work because right now there's contradictions. And . . . let's just say that the book is like a Unified Field Theory that will hold together "Billy The Mountain," "Greggery Peccary," "Joe's Garage," "Them Or Us," "Thing-Fish" . . . all these different stories, it shows you how they work together to make one long, really complicated story. And the Them Or Us album is only one part of this major release that is coming out this year.

There are three other albums that are released at approximately the same time. The Boulez album, the Francesco album, and the Thing-Fish album—and the book relates . . . The Boulez album is not related to it but all the rest of the stuff is related. And so if you read the book and listen to those three, plus knowing from the past "Joe's Garage," "Billy The Mountain," "Greggery Peccary" then it would make an awful lot of sense to you. But other than that it's very hard to describe.

People, especially in Europe, when they want to know more about what the lyrics mean, if they can read English the book would help them.

And if they can't it'll . . . . confuse them very much.

I took it to publishers in the United States and they were afraid of it, so I said, "Forget it. I'll just print it myself" and sell it mail-order.

When we talked to a US publisher, they were more concerned that it LOOK like a book, and this doesn't look like a book—it looks like a screenplay. And so they have taken a position that people won't read it because it doesn't say, "The leaves fell off the tree," and "It's five o'clock," and it's all in paragraphs. I personally don't like to read, and I've said in other interviews that, for me, reading is about as much fun as standing in line at the passport window in the French airport.

So, it's designed basically for people who would enjoy the albums rather than for a literary audience.


Chapter One

[p. 3] Lying in the manger is an extremely ugly nativity infant with the face of 'The Love Doll', wearing a perverted version of Wayne Cochran's enormous, white, video-religious pompadour

"Wayne Cochran," Wikipedia, January 8, 2022

Talvin Wayne Cochran (May 10, 1939-November 21, 2017) was an American soul singer, known for his outlandish outfits and white pompadour hairstyle. He was sometimes referred to as The White Knight of Soul.

Wayne Cochran

FRANCESCO, a short, paunchy man in his 50's, can be seen through the window of the stupid little house, watching a cowboy movie on a tiny TV. As the show concludes, he turns off the set and, in spite of the fact that there is snow on the ground, walks down the steps between his two concrete flamingos, dressed in baggy boxer shorts, a white T-shirt, black shoes & socks (with garters), and the appropriate hat & wig for a middle-class Milanese of the Baroque period.

Bob Zappa with Bob Stannard, Frankie & Bobby: Growing Up Zappa, 2015, p. 118-120

Our father was a big fan of TV westerns. [...] At home Dad used to sit in front of the TV in boxer shorts, athletic T-shirt, and a beret. Curiously, he never bought a western hat.

[p. 4] I was born in Milan, not far from a mosquito-infested lagoon, in an area now known as the Parco Redecessio.

[p. 11] Everybody thinks that they're terrific . . . who'll be the 'Mozart' of your time? David Bowie?

[p. 12] The scene is now a sidewalk cafe next to a church in Partinico, Sicily. Two little men talk at a table.

[p. 13] I met a charming young girl named ANGELINA, just as she was leaving the confessional at the church in Partinico.

Discoring, RAI, 1984

Sandro Paternostro: Recently you've been in Partinico. What were your impressions?

FZ: When I got there I saw . . . We drove all over around the town and I saw some parts of it that were very very poor. [I didn't have the way to ask where my relatives were. After about 20 minutes of driving around we stopped near the church, in front of a bar. The village seemed rather old-fashioned, some streets weren't even asphalted. Then suddenly we heard a loud noise coming from inside the bar: videogames. Then we walked a little and we saw a punk-store. When we returned in Palermo, we've been told some particular stories about Partinico, and so I realized that those loud videogames actually were to cover some other kind of noises].

[p. 14] This time in the manger we find a big guy wearing the traditional 'Elephant Man' face-bag.

"The Elephant Man (film)," Wikipedia, March 8, 2022

The Elephant Man is a 1980 British-American biographical drama film about Joseph Merrick, here called John Merrick, a severely deformed man in late 19th-century London. The film was directed by David Lynch and stars John Hurt, Anthony Hopkins, Anne Bancroft, John Gielgud, Wendy Hiller, Michael Elphick, Hannah Gordon, and Freddie Jones.

[p. 16] [The cheeseburgers] most definitely have not been invented yet and will not exist in France until after Jerry Lewis attempts to order one from room service.

[p. 18] In your cauldron you have seen The Phlorescent Leech and Eddie. They are standing on a fake stage in Pinewood Studios, during the filming of 200 MOTELS, in the year 1970. You are there too. Your name is Rance Muhammitz. You are supposed to be The Devil, and your wife used to be a censor at NBC.

"Theodore Bikel," Wikipedia, January 17, 2022

[Theodore Bikel's] second marriage was in 1967 to Rita Weinberg Call, with whom he had two children. They divorced in 2008.

[p. 19] You are about to entice these miniature replica fat boys with my very own personal 'Mystery Burger', after which Ringo's chauffer will eat it without having to pay you for it.

[p. 21] America? They're getting ready to have a revolution over there . . . they got Indians . . . the Indians got smallpox from the blankets the British gave them for Christmas . . .

"Smallpox," Wikipedia, March 15, 2022

In 1763, Pontiac's War broke out as a Native American confederacy led by Pontiac attempted to counter British control over the Great Lakes region. A group of Native American warriors laid siege to British-held Fort Pitt on June 22. In response, Henry Bouquet, the commander of the fort, ordered his subordinate Simeon Ecuyer to give smallpox-infested blankets from the infirmary to a Delaware delegation outside the fort.

[p. 24] I'll make you a deal . . . we go back right now, and I'll get us a couple of tickets to 'Fiddler On The Roof'.

"Fiddler On The Roof," Wikipedia, February 23, 2022

Fiddler on the Roof is a musical with music by Jerry Bock, lyrics by Sheldon Harnick, and book by Joseph Stein, set in the Pale of Settlement of Imperial Russia in or around 1905. It is based on Tevye and his Daughters (or Tevye the Dairyman) and other tales by Sholem Aleichem. The story centers on Tevye, a milkman in the village of Anatevka, who attempts to maintain his Jewish religious and cultural traditions as outside influences encroach upon his family's lives.

[...] The [original 1964] cast included Zero Mostel as Tevye the milkman [...]. Other stage actors who have played Tevye include Herschel Bernardi, Theodore Bikel and Harry Goz (in the original Broadway run), and Leonard Nimoy.

[p. 25] They must be suppressing 'Fiddler On The Roof' because of the disproportionately small quantity of non-Jewish characters in the story . . . as part of the President's newly mandated YEAR OF THE BIBLE.

"Year Of The Bible," Wikipedia, January 4, 2022

In the United States, 1983 was designated as the national Year of the Bible by President Ronald Reagan by Proclamation 5018, made on February 3, 1983, at the annual National Prayer Breakfast.

Sweetheart, have one of the negroes get me a hot toddy

"Hot toddy," Wikipedia, September 3, 2021

A hot toddy, also known as hot whiskey in Ireland, is typically a mixed drink made of liquor and water with honey (or, in some recipes, sugar), herbs (such as tea) and spices, and served hot. Hot toddy recipes vary and are traditionally drunk before retiring for the night, in wet or cold weather or to relieve the symptoms of the cold and flu.

. . . and that video cassette of 'The Devil In Miss Jones'!"

"The Devil In Miss Jones," Wikipedia, January 20, 2022

The Devil in Miss Jones is a 1973 pornographic film, written, directed and produced by Gerard Damiano and starring Georgina Spelvin and Harry Reems. It is widely regarded as a classic adult film, released during the Golden Age of Porn (1969—1984). After his 1972 success with Deep Throat, Damiano shot the film in a converted apple-packing plant in Milanville, Pennsylvania.

As he completes his request, we see, approaching from around the corner near their door, what appears to be THE GHOST OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, making his way toward the 'LINCOLN BEDROOM'.

"Abraham Lincoln," Wikipedia, March 4, 2022

Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809—April 15, 1865) was an American lawyer and statesman who served as the 16th president of the United States from 1861 until his assassination in 1865. Lincoln led the nation through the American Civil War and succeeded in preserving the Union, abolishing slavery, bolstering the federal government, and modernizing the U.S. economy.

"Lincoln Bedroom," Wikipedia, July 21, 2021

The Lincoln Bedroom is a bedroom which is part of a guest suite located in the southeast corner of the second floor of the White House in Washington, D.C. The Lincoln Sitting Room makes up the other part of the suite. The room is named for President Abraham Lincoln, who used the room as an office.


Chapter Two

[p. 50] 'The Greatest Living PHILOSTOPHER Known to Mankind', QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND!

[p. 52] Next to the boat
Where CROSBY flushed away all his stash


Chapter Three

[p. 64] WAYNE NEWTON probably never wanted to hurt anybody

"Wayne Newton," Wikipedia, February 7, 2022

Carson Wayne Newton (born April 3, 1942) is an American singer and actor. One of the best-known entertainers in Las Vegas, he is known by the nicknames The Midnight Idol, Mr. Las Vegas and Mr. Entertainment.

[p. 67] ". . . the potential profits from a series of CLASSIC RE-APPEARANCES of, for example, ELVIS PRESLEY . . . or JIMI HENDRIX!"


[p. 68] Television coverage of OLD ZIRCON'S activities make BIG NEWS. KELLY LANG even had to report on it

"Kelly Lange," Wikipedia, January 12, 2022

Kelly Lange (born Dorothy Scafard; December 14, 1937) is an American journalist, most notable for being the first woman to be a nightly news anchor in Los Angeles. Lange, a Shakespeare major in college, is a longtime news anchor in Los Angeles, a veteran radio and TV news reporter, NBC talk show host, former Tournament of Roses parade co-host, and a best-selling mystery author.

In the early ABC coverage, OLD ZIRCON is shown hurling the doorman at 'REGINES' into the middle of Park Avenue after having been questioned about his attire.

"Régine Zylberberg," Wikipedia, November 2, 2021

In 1957, [Régine Zylberberg] opened Chez Régine in the Latin Quarter [of Paris], which became the place to be seen for playboys and princes. As Zylberberg's celebrity expanded she established other venues under the name Chez Régine's in London, New York, Monte Carlo and elsewhere. These were ultra-selective venues in prime urban locations, all featuring her signature "disco-style" layout. Zylberberg's Paris Whisky à Gogo became the inspiration for the later establishment of the Whisky a Go Go nightclub in Los Angeles.

Warren Hoge, "Doing The Discotheque Hustle," The New York Times, May 28, 1976

With the opening of the superchic Regine's on Park Avenue and the remodeling of several older rooms, there are now twice as many discothèques in the area as there were in 1974. [...] The most ambitious new project is the one undertaken by Regine. With the Parisian decorator Alberto Pinto, the New York architect Justin Henshell and more than $200,000, she has wrought on Park Avenue the kind of international nightspot you see in movies but never in life.

[...] Regine's, 502 Park Avenue at 59th Street (826‐0990), $10 (this is a straight cover charge); very dressy.

[p. 69] Wih one wave of his scabrous hand, the head of each Beautiful Person rotates 360 degrees, spewing green mucous, as if they were a roomful of 'EXORCIST' Lawn Sprinklers.

"The Exorcist (film)," Wikipedia, February 12, 2022

The Exorcist is a 1973 American supernatural horror film directed by William Friedkin and written for the screen by William Peter Blatty, based on his 1971 novel of the same name.

He sloshes through the rising pea-soup tide, wagging his finger in faces of the dummies, giving to them that dead-serious SMITH-BARNEY 'We Earn It' sort of look.

"Morgan Stanley Wealth Management," Wikipedia, December 26, 2021

Smith Barney & Co. was formed in 1938 through the merger of Charles D. Barney & Co. and Edward B. Smith & Co. [...] During the 1980s, the company was known for its television commercials featuring actor John Houseman, with the catchphrase, "They make money the old-fashioned way. They earn it."

Gray Flannel Videos, "Smith Barney Ad, 1981," YouTube, June 15, 2015

Smith Barney ad, broadcast on WABC-TV on January 8, 1981. Featuring John Houseman with the classic line, "At Smith Barney we make money the old fashioned way... we earn it."

[p. 70] Hovering near Kissinger's Dummy, he announces:

"Henry Kissinger," Wikipedia, February 12, 2022

Henry Alfred Kissinger ([...] born Heinz Alfred Kissinger; May 27, 1923) is a German-born American politician, diplomat, and geopolitical consultant who served as United States Secretary of State and National Security Advisor under the presidential administrations of Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford.

[p. 71] Realizing they are beyond help, he exudes a tiny cloud of ZYKLON-B, ending their misery.

"Zyklon B," Wikipedia, January 15, 2022

Zyklon B [...] was the trade name of a cyanide-based pesticide invented in Germany in the early 1920s. [...] The product is notorious for its use by Nazi Germany during the Holocaust to murder approximately 1.1 million people in gas chambers installed at Auschwitz-Birkenau, Majdanek, and other extermination camps.

[p. 72] on the right, the Leave-It-To-Beaver-looking residence of BARNEY, FLORENCE, and JIMMY.

"Leave It To Beaver," Wikipedia, February 8, 2022

Leave It to Beaver is an American television sitcom broadcast between 1957 and 1963 about an inquisitive and often naïve boy, Theodore "The Beaver" Cleaver (Jerry Mathers), and his adventures at home, school, and around his suburban neighborhood.

LARRY FANOGA (a guy who wants to ride a PONY while wearing a pointed blue foil party hat, but will eventually settle for a job as a roadie for a group called 'TOAD-O') joins in:

[p. 78] In a slightly modified version of the opening shot fly-over from 'STAR WARS', the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER appears . . .

Ahmet Zappa, interviewed by Jeff Newelt, Royal Flush Magazine, October 13, 2009

I remember Jack [Kirby] confided in Frank that he felt like the stories he created helped shape the Star Wars saga, that he saw direct parallels between his characters and the movie's story arcs. [...] He told my dad stuff like, "Darth Vader was Doctor Doom and the Force is the Source" and that George Lucas ripped him off. Now this you may not know, and I was only a kid, but I remember learning at the dinner table that my dad was asked to write the music for Star Wars; he turned it down, he said he wasn't interested.

[p. 79] In a cheezoid parody of those insipid dance routines in 'GREASE II', the little contestans line up at the door of the bus, flailing their arms as if they were close personal friends of STUDEBAKER HOCH.

[p. 86] WARREN, (one of the other guys from JOE'S Garage Band ---- he will eventually wind up as a centerfold in PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE)

Playgirl, June, 1983 Playgirl, June, 1983

[p. 88] his beloved, nude except for her paper hat and white nurse shoes, poses erotically near one of the dreaded JACK-IN-THE-BOX statuettes, while a demolition team plants the charges at its base for the TV commercial in which it is destroyed.

MrClassicAds1980s, "Jack In The Box 'Jack Explodes' Commercial From 1980," YouTube, April 16, 2011

Jack in the Box explodes in this commercial.


Chapter Four

[p. 113] FATHER RILEY B. JONES, carrying a small black 'EXORCIST' bag and two airline tickets, knocking on BUDDY's smoldering door.

[p. 115] THE REAL JESUS (who looks SO MUCH like SYLVESTER STALLONE that it PROBABLY IS SYLVESTER STALLONE, except that he would never do such a thing)

"Sylvester Stallone," Wikipedia, February 14, 2022

Sylvester Enzio Stallone ([...] July 6, 1946) is an American actor, screenwriter, director, and producer.[...] He achieved his greatest critical and commercial success as an actor and screenwriter, starting in 1976 with his role as boxer Rocky Balboa, in the first film of the successful Rocky series (1976—present), for which he also wrote the screenplays.

FATHER RILEY B. JONES removes his frock and collar to reveal S & M leather garments, topping off his ensemble with a precious little leather hat, concealed all along in the 'EXORCIST' unguent bag.

The interior of 'THE NEW GILDED GRAPE' (A GAY BAR in JERUSALEM, half an hour later.

A great deal of excitement is being created by a guy who looks SO MUCH like MUHAMMAR KHADAFFI that it PROBABLY IS MUHAMMAR KHADAFFI, 'WORKING THE WALL'.

"Muammar Gaddafi," Wikipedia, February 25, 2022

Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi (c. 1942—20 October 2011) was a Libyan revolutionary, politician and political theorist. He was the de facto leader of Libya from 1969 to 2011, first as Revolutionary Chairman of the Libyan Arab Republic from 1969 to 1977 and then as the "Brotherly Leader" of the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya from 1977 to 2011. Initially ideologically committed to Arab nationalism and Arab socialism, he later ruled according to his own Third International Theory.

[p. 119] The ring is spattered with blood. THE REAL JESUS' eye is puffing up. In the distance we hear a choir of boy sopranos perform an ecclesiastical arrangement of "EYE OF THE TIGER".

"Eye Of The Tiger," Wikipedia, February 24, 2022

"Eye of the Tiger" is a song by American rock band Survivor. It was released as a single from their third album of the same name and was also the theme song for the 1982 film Rocky III, which was released a day before the single. The song was written by Survivor guitarist Frankie Sullivan and keyboardist Jim Peterik, and it was recorded at the request of Rocky III star, writer, and director Sylvester Stallone, after Queen denied him permission to use "Another One Bites the Dust", the song Stallone intended as the Rocky III theme.

[p. 120] The family is gathered around the set, mindlessly humming along with the over-dubbed 'Angelic Choir' (which seems to broadcast BEAUTIFULLY via H.B.O.).

"HBO," Wikipedia, February 26, 2022

Home Box Office (HBO) is an American pay television network [...]. HBO, the oldest and longest continuously operating subscription television service (basic or a la carte premium) in the United States, pioneered modern pay television upon its launch on November 8, 1972: it was the first television service to be directly transmitted and distributed to individual cable television systems, and was the conceptual blueprint for the "premium channel," pay television services sold to subscribers for an extra monthly fee that do not accept traditional advertising and present their programming without editing for objectionable material.


"Dan Rather," Wikipedia, February 15, 2022

Daniel Irvin Rather Jr. (born October 31, 1931) is an American journalist and former national evening news anchor. Rather began his career in Texas, becoming a national name after his reporting saved thousands of lives during Hurricane Carla in September 1961. [...] In 1981, Rather was promoted to news anchor for the CBS Evening News, a role he occupied for 24 years.


Chapter Five

[p. 124] Meanwhile, a guy who sounds SO MUCH like CARL SAGAN that it PROBABLY IS CARL SAGAN, has been explaining:

"Carl Sagan," Wikipedia, February 21, 2022

Carl Edward Sagan (November 9, 1934—December 20, 1996) was an American astronomer, planetary scientist, cosmologist, astrophysicist, astrobiologist, author, and science communicator. His best known scientific contribution is research on extraterrestrial life, including experimental demonstration of the production of amino acids from basic chemicals by radiation. Sagan assembled the first physical messages sent into space, the Pioneer plaque and the Voyager Golden Record, universal messages that could potentially be understood by any extraterrestrial intelligence that might find them.

[p. 125] In the early part of his training, BILLY conducted a great deal of research into the physical properties of the types of materials a janitor such as himself might choose for the construcion of a Space Vehicle . . . CARDBOARD; PLYWOOD; LEVI CLOTH.

"Levi Strauss & Co.," Wikipedia, February 10, 2022

Levi Strauss & Co. is an American clothing company known worldwide for its Levi's brand of denim jeans.

[p. 128] It seems they expired at EXACTLY the same point during re-entry as they passed through the deadly VAN ALLEN RADIATION BELT!

"Van Allen radiation belt," Wikipedia, February 18, 2022

A Van Allen radiation belt is a zone of energetic charged particles, most of which originate from the solar wind, that are captured by and held around a planet by that planet's magnetosphere. Earth has two such belts, and sometimes others may be temporarily created. The belts are named after James Van Allen, who is credited with their discovery.

[p. 130] Mother, Mary'n Jozef!

[p. 137] THE PRESIDENT, as he might have looked in 1955 as a host on "DEATH VALLEY DAYS"

[p. 138] documentary coverage of the actual production of "QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE"

[p. 139] Hold the Space Guns up a little higher, and when you see the Earth People, push them along and talk to them in Space Talk! Say: 'BOTCHINO! BOTCHINO!'

[p. 144] (We sense that ALLAN has come up with a GREAT IDEA! He has decided to produce a REALLY CHEAP and INCREDIBLE EXPLOITIVE 'VALLEY GIRL BEACH PARTY' MOVIE!)

FZ, interviewed by David and Victoria Sheff, Playboy, November 1982

We've had calls from Universal, United Artists, even Norman Lear asking to do a film on Valley Girl. My manager and I will see about the best deal. Also, people have been sending Moon all these stupid fucking scripts; one was for a movie called Planet of the Teenagers. There have been a few others where they're looking for a voluptuous teenager who takes her clothes off and takes drugs. She's obviously passed on those. If we do Valley Girl as a movie, she'll be in it, so she'll have to miss some school. But she'll have a tutor. I refuse to let her just walk away from school.

[p. 145] We watch ALLAN'S hands finish chopping. He reaches for the Wall Street Jounal, rolls it into a clumsy tube, places it over his lunch and . . . VOILA!

"The Wall Street Journal," Wikipedia, March 1, 2022

The Wall Street Journal, also known as The Journal or WSJ, is an American business-focused, English-language international daily newspaper based in New York City [...]. The Journal has been printed continuously since its inception on July 8, 1889, by Charles Dow, Edward Jones, and Charles Bergstresser.

[p. 146] (crunching bone matter and tearing human tissue, mingled with agonized groans vaguely reminiscent of the transformation sequences in "AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON").

"An American Werewolf In London," Wikipedia, March 7, 2022

An American Werewolf in London is a 1981 horror comedy film written and directed by John Landis. An international co-production of the United Kingdom and the United States, the film stars David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Griffin Dunne and John Woodvine. The film's plot follows two American backpackers, David and Jack, who are attacked by a werewolf while travelling in England, causing David to question whether he will become a werewolf under the next full moon.


Chapter Six

[p. 151] As we pan around the room we notice, haphardly stored in a corner, the incredibly fraudulent PAPIER MACHE SPIDER from "MISSILE TO THE MOON".

"Missile To The Moon," Wikipedia, February 23, 2022

Missile to the Moon is a 1958 independently made American black-and-white science fiction film drama, produced by Marc Frederic, directed by Richard E. Cunha, that stars Richard Travis, Cathy Downs, and K. T. Stevens. The film was distributed by Astor Pictures and is a remake of an earlier Astor Pictures-distributed film, Cat-Women of the Moon (1953). [...]

A spaceship blasts off from Earth with five aboard, but one of them is secretly a Moon man returning home. He dies by accident during the trip to Luna. What the remaining four find waiting for them when they arrive on the Moon is well beyond their expectations: huge rock creatures, giant lunar spiders, and a cave-dwelling civilization made up of beautiful women.

[p. 155] "Din-din . . . "

[p. 156] "Believe it or not, I worked the SMOKE MACHINE on THE LAST BIG 'KISS' TOUR!"

"Kiss (band)," Wikipedia, March 8, 2022

Kiss [...] is an American rock band formed in New York City in January 1973 by Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, and Peter Criss. Well known for its members' face paint and stage outfits, the group rose to prominence in the mid—late 1970s with its shocking live performances, which featured fire breathing, blood-spitting, smoking guitars, shooting rockets, levitating drum kits, and pyrotechnics.

[p. 158] She removes a well-worn copy of "ANNIE SPRINKLE'S Home-Made Porn Book" from the towel drawer.

"Annie Sprinkle," Wikipedia, February 28, 2022

Annie M. Sprinkle (born Ellen F. Steinberg on July 23, 1954) is an American certified sexologist and advocate for sex work and healthcare. Sprinkle works as a sex educator, feminist stripper, pornographic actress, sex film producer and sex positive feminist, and she identifies as ecosexual.

[p. 163] some creature that might-or-might-not be an enormous poodle named 'FRUNOBULAX'

[p. 168] GRETCHEN in the bathroom stroking PORCELANA Fade Cream into her age-spotted hands, one of which still shows the effects of today's boiling.

[p. 169] FOLLOWING SHOT of the KILLER COLLIE rampaging through THE GALLERIA.

"Sherman Oaks Galleria," Wikipedia, December 19, 2021

Sherman Oaks Galleria is an open-air shopping mall and business center located in the Sherman Oaks neighborhood of Los Angeles, California, United States, at the corner of Ventura and Sepulveda Boulevards in the San Fernando Valley.

The teenage mall culture which formed around it and nearby malls formed the basis of the 1982 satirical song "Valley Girl" by Frank Zappa and daughter Moon Zappa, which mentions the Galleria by name (though misattributes its location as Encino, which it abuts).

[p. 170] GRETCHEN'S eyes blink open, a la NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

"Night Of The Living Dead," Wikipedia, March 9, 2022

Night of the Living Dead is a 1968 American independent horror film written, directed, photographed and edited by George A. Romero, co-written by John Russo, and starring Duane Jones and Judith O'Dea. The story follows seven people who are trapped in a rural farmhouse in western Pennsylvania, which is under assault by an enlarging group of cannibalistic, undead ghouls.

[p. 173] I sure as fuck can't do 'CHiPs' again!

"CHiPs," Wikipedia, March 5, 2022

CHiPs is an American crime drama television series created by Rick Rosner, that originally aired on NBC from September 15, 1977, to May 1, 1983. It follows the lives of two motorcycle officers of the California Highway Patrol (CHP). The series ran for 139 episodes over six seasons, plus one reunion television film in October 1998.

"Moon Unit Zappa," IMDb, retrieved March 13, 2022


Actress (41 credits)


Chips (TV Series)
- Speedway Fever (1982) ... Tami (as Moon Zappa)


[p. 178] Unexpectedly, the KILLER COLLIE explodes in a manner reminiscent of the emergence of 'THE THING'

"The Thing (1982 film)," Wikipedia, March 7, 2022

The Thing is a 1982 American science fiction horror film directed by John Carpenter, with a screenplay by Bill Lancaster. Based on the 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. novella Who Goes There?, it tells the story of a group of American researchers in Antarctica who encounter the eponymous "Thing", a parasitic extraterrestrial life-form that assimilates, then imitates, other organisms.

Just when we think we've seen it all, this ugly sucker erupts into 'THE ALIEN' (full grown).

"Alien (film)," Wikipedia, March 5, 2022

Alien is a 1979 science fiction horror film directed by Ridley Scott and written by Dan O'Bannon. Based on a story by O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett, it follows the crew of the commercial space tug Nostromo, who encounter the eponymous Alien, an aggressive and deadly extraterrestrial set loose on the ship.


Chapter Seven

[p. 182] We see an exact duplication of the escape-pod scene from "2001" . . . a worried looking astronaut in an expensive suit.

"2001: A Space Odyssey (film)," Wikipedia, March 5, 2022

2001: A Space Odyssey is a 1968 epic science fiction film produced and directed by Stanley Kubrick. The screenplay was written by Kubrick and science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke, and was inspired by Clarke's 1951 short story "The Sentinel" and other short stories by Clarke.

all of their mates have perished in the lengthy war with the GRUNT PEOPLE and it is now UP TO THEM to RE-POPULATE THEIR WORLD


Chapter Eight

[p. 221] a parody of the battle with 'The Bogey-Men' from "BABES IN TOYLAND".

"Babes In Toyland (1934 film)," Wikipedia, January 11, 2022

Babes in Toyland is a Laurel and Hardy musical Christmas film released on November 30, 1934. [...] Based on Victor Herbert's popular 1903 operetta Babes in Toyland, the film was produced by Hal Roach, directed by Gus Meins and Charles Rogers, and distributed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.


[p. 243] "Say! What's this one here? A 'HARNILTON'! Precision-jeweled MOVEMENT!"

[p. 244] HUNCHENTOOT, still dangling the watch with one hand, reaches over with his other and pokes 'FORCE-LING' #2 first in the right eye, then in the left, finally pulling the ping-pong balls over both eyes in a perfect 3-STOOGES tic-tac-toe movement.

"The Three Stooges," Wikipedia, February 25, 2022

The Three Stooges were an American vaudeville and comedy team active from 1922 until 1970, best remembered for their 190 short subject films by Columbia Pictures. Their hallmark styles were physical farce and slapstick. Six Stooges appeared over the act's run (with only three active at any given time): Moe Howard (true name (t/n) Moses Horwitz) and Larry Fine (t/n Louis Feinberg) were mainstays throughout the ensemble's nearly 50-year run and the pivotal "third stooge" was played by (in order of appearance) Shemp Howard (t/n Samuel Horwitz), Curly Howard (t/n Jerome Horwitz), Shemp Howard again, Joe Besser, and "Curly Joe" DeRita.



Chapter Nine

[p. 260] THE PRISON WARDEN (Shirley Stoller)

"Shirley Stoler," Wikipedia, March 1, 2022

Shirley Stoler (March 30, 1929—February 17, 1999) was an American actress best known for her roles in The Honeymoon Killers and Lina Wertmüller's Seven Beauties. [...] A highlight of her film career was her performance as the unnamed Nazi female prison commandant in Lina Wertmüller's Seven Beauties (1975), in which she played a cat-and-mouse game of seduction with the concentration camp inmate played by Giancarlo Giannini.

[p. 262] It is a pseudo-negrocious dialect, originated by an actor named Tim Moore in the TV version of 'AMOS & ANDY'. He was severely punished for it. The N.A.A.C.P. made him for his own 'one-way ticket to Fresno'.

"Tim Moore," Wikipedia, January 15, 2022

Tim Moore (December 9, 1887—December 13, 1958) was an American vaudevillian and comic actor of the first half of the 20th century. He gained his greatest recognition in the starring role of George "Kingfish" Stevens in the CBS TV's The Amos 'n' Andy Show. He proudly stated, "I've made it a point never to tell a joke on stage that I couldn't tell in front of my mother."

[p. 263] It is the Video-Christian extension of the old small-pox-on-the-blanket technique, pioneered by the British when they gave it to the Indians.

[p. 276] four infra-red lamps like the ones they use to keep the french-fries warm at Burger King.

"Burger King," Wikipedia, March 11, 2022

Burger King (BK) is an American multinational chain of hamburger fast food restaurants. Headquartered in Miami-Dade County, Florida, the company was founded in 1953 as Insta-Burger King, a Jacksonville, Florida—based restaurant chain. After Insta-Burger King ran into financial difficulties in 1954, its two Miami-based franchisees David Edgerton and James McLamore purchased the company and renamed it "Burger King".

Is down there right now


Chapter Ten


FRANCESCO reads the April '84 issue of HUSTLER.


Chapter Eleven

[p. 317] We now recognize that it has ARTIFICIAL RHONDA'S face, and QUENTIN ROBERT DE NAMELAND'S enormous white video-religious pompadour.

[p. 336] He exits the bungalow with a can of Crisco and a violin case.





Research, compilation and maintenance by Román García Albertos
This page updated: 2023-12-17