Cheaper Than Cheep—The Movie

  1. 0:00:00 Intro/Cheepnis—Percussion/"Cheaper Than Cheep"
  2. 0:04:02 Cosmik Debris
  3. 0:13:29 Band Introductions
  4. 0:14:57 RDNZL
  5. 0:21:31 Village Of The Sun
  6. 0:26:06 Montana
  7. 0:32:35 Duke Goes Out
  8. 0:36:22 A Visit To The Art Studio
  9. 0:40:44 Inca Roads
  10. 0:50:47 "Get Down Simmons"
  11. 0:54:02 Penguin In Bondage
  12. 1:00:47 T'Mershi Duween
  13. 1:02:35 The Dog Breath Variations
  14. 1:04:17 Uncle Meat
  15. 1:06:43 How Could I Be Such A Fool
  16. 1:10:45 I'm Not Satisfied
  17. 1:13:01 Wowie Zowie
  18. 1:15:29 I Don't Even Care
  19. 1:16:46 Let's Make The Water Turn Black
  20. 1:21:19 Dupree's Paradise Introduction
  21. 1:22:22 Dupree's Paradise
  22. 1:31:48 Oh No
  23. 1:33:19 Son Of Orange County
  24. 1:38:53 More Trouble Every Day
  25. 1:49:55 Apostrophe'
  26. 1:56:49 Camarillo Brillo

Bonus

Directed by Ahmet Zappa

Produced by Frank Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Joe Travers
Produced for UME by Jeff Fura, Holland Greco
Edited by Jeremy Rhodes, John Albarian
Sound recording by Wally Heider Remote Truck, Kerry McNabb
2024 Stereo, Dolby Atmos, & 5.1 mixes by Erich Gobel and Karma Auger, Studio1LA
Audio transfers: Joe Travers & Rodney Pearson at UMRK 2025
Video transfers: David Crosthwait at DC Video
Color corrections: Steve Peer
Title design: Michael Mesker
Picture modernization: Vanderquest
Production manager: Alex Sale
Product manager: Ashley Slater
UME PR: Tim Plumley

Recorded at The Mothers Of Invention rehearsall hall, DiscReet Records, 5831 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA, June 21, 1974

Tour footage shot by Frank Zappa
Animation by Bruce Bickford

Musical performances by:
Frank Zappa—guitar, vocals
Jeff Simmons—guitar, vocals
George Duke—keyboards, vocals
Napoleon Murphy Brock—tenor sax, flute, vocals
Ruth Underwood—percussion
Tom Fowler—bass
Chester Thompson—drums

Special appearances by:
Cal Schenkel
Bruce Bickford
Meatball

Special thanks to:
Bruce Resnikoff
Jane Gowen
Andrew Daw
Benjamin Reed
Katie Fee
Gwen Palacios
Andrew Labarrere
Kayla Ramirez
Reed Bovee
Richard Scheltinga
Gadi Harel
Melanie Starks
Shana Zappa
Halo Zappa
Arrow Zappa
Brittany Usher
Gianeli Usher
Dick Darley
Mort Libov
Jerry Souci
Paul Hof
Coy Featherston
Everyone at UME
And the cheapest, greatest studio audience in all of TV history

 

1. 0:00:00 Intro/Cheepnis—Percussion/"Cheaper Than Cheep"

A
Universal Music
Enterprises
&
Zappa Records
Production

FZ: Chester's still having a hard time in the cowbell department.

A film by Ahmet Zappa

Produced by Frank Zappa

Produced by
Ahmet Zappa
Joe Travers

FZ: Do what? . . . Okay.

Starring

Frank Zappa

George Duke

Napoleon Murphy Brock

Jeff Simmons

Ruth Underwood

Tom Fowler

Chester Thompson

On the 13th of May 1974 The Mothers ended their ten year anniversary tour.

Engineer: Rolling?
FZ: Okay.

After landing in Los Angeles, Frank had the idea of doing a television special.

No one has seen this concert until now.

Engineer: Here we come, Frank.
?: Here they come.
Engineer: Yeah. Five. Four. Three. Two.
FZ: Timpani, Ruth.
Engineer: One.
FZ: Bass drum. Bass drum. Hello! Bass drum. Tom-toms. Chester's tom-toms, all the way around, please. Okay. "Cheepnis." A little bit faster, okay? One, two, three, four . . .

FZ: More compression on the small . . . Okay, ready? Make her look luxuriant right now. That's really good.

FZ: Get down, Simmons, right this way.

FZ:
Ladies and gentlemen
The monster
Which the peasants in this area call Frunobulax
Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant
Bullets can't stop it
Rockets can't stop it
We may have to stop it at once
Hold it!

FZ: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you to the world's cheapest television special which is being manufactured for your gratification right here in the midst of our Mothers Of Invention rehearsal hall, at 5831 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, California. Can you all turn around and look at each other so everybody who is watching this can tell where we are and what the inside of this place really looks like. As you can see it's cheaper than cheap.

CHEAPER THAN
CHEEP

2. 0:04:02 Cosmik Debris

FZ: One, two, three, four . . .

The Mystery Man came over
An' he said, "I'm outa-site!"
He said, for a nominal service charge
I could reach nervonna t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
That he would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .

Look here brother
(Look here brother)
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on me

Well, t he Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Afro-dytee
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said, "You might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your Asthma too!"
An' I said, "That's really nice"

Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on Napoleon!

I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' ram it up yer . . .
"But I've got a Kristl Bol," he said
An' he held it on up to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An' I showed him how to do it right
Now watch Jeff . . .

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
Told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his ring
An' his pocket watch
An' everything else around
I, I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around, I said
"The price of meat has just gone up
An' yer old lady has just went . . ."

Look here brother
(I knew there was a way to get that on television)
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Well)
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?)
Don't you know
You could make more money as a butcher
So don't you waste your time on me

3. 0:13:29 Band Introductions

FZ: Well, you certainly picked a marvelous time to turn the cameras on—ladies and gentlemen, this is George Duke tuning up right over here, and . . .
George: [...]
FZ: And as soon as uh, George is done tuning up I think that Tom is gonna want to tune up for about 15 or 20 minutes. This is Tom Fowler on bass, ladies and gentlemen. And over—behind him, partially obscured by uh, massive drums and stuff, this is Chester Thompson. And uh, direct from San Jose, California, by way of The New Red Noodle Club in Hawaii, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals. And the inevitable Jeffrey Leo Simmons on brown helmet, buzzing guitar, and partial vocals. Backed up by the nimble Ruth Underwood with her little sticks and her little . . .
George: Heh heh heh heh . . .
FZ: Tender, succulent Ruth. Now this is gonna be Ruth's big number, ladies and gentlemen. This is the one where you really have to watch Ruth because she has a solo on the front part of this tune that—well, it's real hard to play and everything, that's why George doesn't play with her. And so uh . . .
Napoleon: Yeah hah hah!
FZ: Heh heh heh heh heh . . .
Napoleon: Boo hoo . . .
FZ: He could though! But, maybe on the next tour he will. And the name of this song is "RDNZL," and I'm going to presume that everybody has tuned up and ready to go—of course I have bitten the bag on this concept a number of times before. And this is probably one of those times but what the hey!

4. 0:14:57 RDNZL

FZ: One, one, one, one . . .

George: [...]
Napoleon: Wait a minute! [...]

We could share a love
We could share a love
(Napoleon: And when I get to [...].)
(FZ: One night only.)

We could share a love
We could share a love
(FZ: Share it with Mort!)
(Napoleon: [...])
(George: [...])

We could share a love
We could share a love
(FZ: [...])
(Napoleon: [...])
(George: [...])

We could share a love
(Oh yeah)
We could share a love
(Napoleon: I will turn off the lights [...].)

5. 0:21:31 Village Of The Sun

Goin' back home
To the Village of the Sun
Out in back of Palmdale
Where the turkey farmers run, I done
Made up my mind
And I know I'm gonna go to Sun
Village, good God I hope the
Wind don't blow

It'll take the paint off your car
And wreck your windshield too
I don't know how the people stand it
But I guess they do
'Cause they're all still there
Even Johnny Franklin too
In the Village of the Sun
Oh, Village of the Sun
Village of the Sun, son
Sun Village to you
Ooh, well!

Little Mary, and Teddy, and Thelma too, now
Where Palmdale Boulevard
Cuts on through
Past the Village Inn, well, & Barbecue now, yeah
I heard it ain't there
You know I hope it ain't true
Where the stumblers gonna go
To watch the lights turn blue?
Where the stumblers gonna go
To watch the lights turn blue?

(Boogity-boogity-boogity-boogity)

Goin' back home
To the Village of the Sun
Out in back of Palmdale
Where the turkey farmers run, I done
Made up my mind
And I know I'm gonna go to Sun
Village, good God I hope the
Wind don't blow

It'll take the paint off your car
And wreck your windshield too
I don't know how the people stand it
But I guess they do
'Cause they're all still there
In their thermal underwear
In the Village of the Sun
Village of the Sun
Village of the Sun, son
Sun Village to you
Brian poo
Heh heh hah hah!
What you gonna do, do, do?
Brian poo
Heh heh hah hah!
What you gonna do?
(Oh yeah)
Brian poo
Heh heh hah hah!
What you gonna do, do?
Brian poo . . .

6. 0:26:06 Montana

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss

Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
That I can sell uptown

But by myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
'Cause I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
To somebody else
(How about one of you young ladies over there?)
Then I'd

Keep the wax
'N melt it down
Pluck the Floss
'N swish it aroun'

An' I would have me a crop
Roon-toon toon-toont
And ah-poo-poo ta-na-nah
Ron-toon toon-toont
And ah—

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon
(Yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dental Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon

Oh, I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
His name is Mighty Little
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dental Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks

I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line

With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand

But by myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
'Cause I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss

Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
(A little tweezer glint)

And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
'N give my foot a push
Just me 'n the pygmy pony
Over by the Dennil Floss Bush

'N then I might just
Jump back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana

Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
Movin' to Montana soon
Movin' to Montana soon . . .

FZ: Hello, hello, hello, hello, watch, watch, watch all, watchity-watch, because the tempo of this song is so abismally slow we're gonna reduce the length of the vamp going out and we're gonna go to "The Hook" right away, so watch carefully, ladies and gentlemen, here it goes . . .

7. 0:32:35 Duke Goes Out

George: Good God, ain't it funky! Heh heh, it's all, it's all where you're coming from. You know where I'm going, Nappy? It's a little place up near San Francisco and it's called . . .
Napoleon: I know that, I saw you [...], I know, I mean, you know, one thing leads to another.
George: You know where I'm going, Nappy? You know you can get, you can get those, you know what I've said before, you can get those sweet potato pie in Hawaii.
Napoleon: [...] bean pies [...] sweet potato pie.
George: I know another brother who I'd say he knows exactly what I'm talking about and his name is Simmons, and he's got a hat on, look at it. Check him out. Ain't it cool. Go.
Napoleon: [...] that hair [...].
George: Give me a little bit of it, Simmons. Give me a little bit of it, Simmons. Give me a little bit of it, Simmons. Give me a little bit of it, Simmons. Give me a little bit of it, Simmons.
Napoleon: [...].

George: You know what I'm talking about, Nappy!
Napoleon: Red beans [...], I know exactly what you're talking about.
George: That [...] look in his, look in his face, he knows what I'm talking about too!
Napoleon: Doesn't he?
George: He's thinking about some, I know what he's thinking about. What you're thinking about?
Napoleon: I'm thinking about those green beans [...].
George: You're thinking about them red beans.
Napoleon: Red beans, red beans. Green beans.
George: Wow! I know what's in his mind, he got gassed.
Napoleon: [...].
George: Wow, get down, Ruth! Get down, Ruth! Oh, check out, get down, Ruth. Come on, Ruth, get down, you know what I mean? Wow! That's right.
FZ: Go on, Ruth, do the funky chicken soup.

George: You know, I've said it before, I can't stay in. You know I'm going out. You know I'm going out. All you know I'm going out. I'm going out, if the thing lets me go out.

FZ: Now, Dick, I know that you might not be able to hear me at this time, but while he's doing that, why don't you take the video shader and make him look dramatic? Do it again, George, and let them change your color.
George: You know, oh Lord! Is that what they gonna do? I don't know if I'm ready for that, but it's cool anyway. We are going— I'm going out! You know I got to g—

8. 0:36:22 A Visit To The Art Studio

Meanwhile in the goat dimension . . .

Dick: Well, get him to go out right out of the way. Get him out of the way.
FZ: Hey, Gus . . . Well, Calvin, what are you doing?
Calvin: Oh, hi, Frank. I'm just developing a new organic spewage concept here for our album cover, like you know, like I said.
FZ: Ha ha ha . . . Can you tell me a little about how you plan to make this album cover work?
Calvin: Oh, well . . . I need some rubber cement to show. Can I have the rubber cement, please?
Meatball: Oh . . . okay . . .
FZ: Wait, let me try and understand this organic spewage concept. You're trying to tell me that you, you want to permanently afix the debris produced by the parrot onto the, uh . . .
Calvin: It's not debris, it's spewage.
FZ: You want to permanently afix the spewage to the cardboard piece and that would be our new album cover, is that the idea?
Calvin: It's not cardboard, it's paper.
FZ: You want to permanently afix the spewage to the white paper back and that would be our new album cover, is that right, Cal Schenkel?
Calvin: Well, that's partially right, although in actuality we're not only using that, we're using other items as well.
FZ: Well, how, how are you gonna, how are you gonna make that stick onto the cover before it gets to the . . .
Calvin: Well . . . That's why I need the rubber cement. Can I have the rubber cement, please?
Meatball: I don't think you's have the rubber cement, man, it's uh, dried out, but uh, here's this hammer and a nail. I think that would be pretty good. It's a hammer and a nail.
Calvin: [...]
FZ: You're trying to tell me that you're going to nail the spewage onto the white paper.
Calvin: That's correct . . . OUCH!
FZ: I think you'd better have Meatball do it. Now, while you work on that, ladies and gentlemen, I suppose you'd noticed that this is a clay forest. And the forest is being manufactured for your edification by non other than Bruce Bickford, imported from Seattle, Washington. Bruce, would you stand up and please tell us what's going on on this table over here?
Bruce: Well, nothing right now, it's just sitting there.
FZ: Well, what could you do to this table to amuse everyone?
Bruce: Oh, these . . . Gee . . .
FZ: I see. What are you doing over here to amuse everyone?
Bruce: Well, I was trying to animate this clay character, but my hands are kind of shaking right now—it's all this commotion and, and these lights are pretty heavy.
FZ: Yes, it is, it is a dangerous risk to, to melt the clay. Can you explain to everyone how you animate the clay figures, what do you do to make them move.
Bruce: Well, I gotta, I just . . . put your fingers on 'em and move 'em just so far and take a picture and make sure you got your hands out of there when you're taking the picture. Truly a extremely simple process.
FZ: What are you making him do as you're moving, it's, he's merely turning his head now, right?
Bruce: Yeah, he's, uh . . . he's [...].
FZ: Is it possible that the camera can see in close enough to see what's happening to his eyes?
Bruce: Uhm . . . well, it's on this camera.
FZ: Oh, this camera is watching that camera taking a picture of his eyes, so that camera has a choice of your eyes and those eyes there. Who is that character that you're animating?
Bruce: Oh, it's probably me, but it's not an exact replica.
FZ: It's a lot shorter.
Bruce: And it looks a little nicer too.
FZ: Yeah. Could you explain what some of the other things that are on the table, like what are these boats and what is this blue area in here.
Bruce: Oh, blue is simulated water, you make these waves and you just, you just keep pushing them along in the general direction.
FZ: Well, I know that you have a piece of film that has this in motion, it's supposed to look exactly like the sea, and you have boats moving through the sea.
Bruce: Well, it get's really complicated, you know how complex the surface of water gets.
FZ: Yeah, it's hard to do with clay.
Bruce: Yeah. Sure.
FZ: Well, I'm gonna go back in there and play and then you guys finish up what you're doing here.

30 goat seconds later

9. 0:40:44 Inca Roads

FZ: And we're just getting started again after having a little break while we went in there and look at Calvin's goat and the parrot and everything. So we're gonna start out with a song that deals with vehicles coming to this planet from outer space a long time ago and people in those vehicles maybe getting out of the vehicles and carving some rocks on the top of a mountain so that the other guys into some other vehicles when they came later could see what was going on. And George will tell you all about it. The name of this song is "Inca Roads." Here we go, and don't fuck up the introduction! Ready? And I mean that sincerely, ladies and gentlemen. Ready? One, two, three . . .

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different

FZ: Thirteen over seven.
Napoleon: What?
Jeff: What's that?
George: But, the way I look at it as a . . .
Napoleon: [Rain] black, what you mean?
FZ: [Liquid R gun].

Jeff: There's more . . .
Napoleon: This stuff is overpriced.
George: [It's over] barrel.

FZ: Hong Kong [tea].
George: Make sense.

Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself
Park itself
(Park it . . . Park it)
Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a thing to land

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle come
From somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different

Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for Chester's Thing to land

(Chester's Thing . . . on Ruth)

Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

On Ruth
On Ruth
That's Ruth

FZ: Oh, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure we'll be making more mistakes later this evening, just keep clapping like that.

10. 0:50:47 "Get Down Simmons"

George: Get down, Simmons. [...]
Napoleon: [...].
Jeff: I don't know, it wasn't a very good solo. We can take it back. [...] ten thousand [...]. Cancel.
FZ: Jeff, really, really, Jeff. Come on, Jeff, you got, get into it, Jeff. He likes to play in B flat. Give him a B flat chord. Give him a B, give him a B flat chord. Take it away, Jeff.
Jeff: Thank you very much.
George: Get down, Simmons.
Napoleon: Get down, Simmons.

George: Oh yeah . . .
Napoleon: Yeah yeah . . .

FZ: Tell 'em about the funky room service and how they did you wrong again this time.

George: Oh, Lord! Hah hah . . .
Jeff: Well, you see, playing guitar in this group isn't easy. He's making me do this, you'd understand. So let's talk about funky room service really did me wrong this time. You know a lot of, a lot of real fine session men are down here, you know, Larry Carlton, uh, John Abercrombie, alone my favorite guitar player, and I was really worried how I looked and do screw. And what I've decided, I've decided to stay safe!

George: Ah hah hah, hah hah, Ruth fest.
Napoleon: Ruth f—? What the . . .?
FZ: Yes, Ruth, this is your moment and I hope that tympani is in tune. Give us the big D!

11. 0:54:02 Penguin In Bondage

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn
Way over on the wet side
Of the bed

Just like the mighty Penguin
Flappin' her eight ounce wings

Lord, you know it's all over
If she come atcha on the strut and wrap 'em all around yer head
Flappin' her eight ounce wings, flappinumm

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
(Yes, Chester, yes)

Shake up the pale-dry
Ginger ale

Tremblin' like a Penguin
When the battery fail

Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through a hoopa real fire
With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn
Howlin' over to some
Antarcticulated moon

In the frostbite nite
With her flaps gone white
Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room
(There's no hoop again)

You know it must be a Penguin bound down
If you hear that terrible screamin'
And there ain't no other birds around

She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh . . .
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahennnn
Aw, you must be careful
Not to leave her straps
Too loose

'Cause she just might box yer dog
'Cause she just might box yer doggie
An' leave you a dried-up doggie biscuit . . .

12. 1:00:47 T'Mershi Duween

Hey!

13. 1:02:35 The Dog Breath Variations

 

14. 1:04:17 Uncle Meat

 

15. 1:06:43 How Could I Be Such A Fool

When I won your love
I was very glad
Every happiness in the world
Belonged to me
Then our love was lost
You went away
Now I shed my tears
In lonely misery

I know now
You never really loved me
Well, it hurts me now to think
You never really cared
I sit and ask myself a thousand times
To try and find
What really happened
To the love
That we shared

How could I be
(How could I be)
Be such a fool
How could I be
(Such a fool)
Be such a fool
How could I be
(How could I believe)
Be such a fool
(All those lies)
How could I be
(You told me)
Be such a fool
How could I be
(How could I be taken in)
Be such a fool
(By your)
How could I be
(Sweet face)
Be such a fool

You spoiled our love
You ruined my life
I'm so tore down
I'm a terrible disgrace

There will come a time
You'll regret the way
You treated me as if
(And I wasn't)
If I was a fool and didn't know, didn't know, didn't know
(Well)
The many times you lied
About your love for me
Someone is gonna know
Your love is just a show

How could I be
(How could I be)
Such a fool
(How could I be)
How could I believe
All those lies
You told me
How could I be
How could I be
Wow ooh
You know some times I
Some times I feel
Like a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool
Such a fool

16. 1:10:45 I'm Not Satisfied

Got no place to go
I'm tired of walking
Up and down the street all by myself
No love left for me to give
I tried and tried
But no one wants me the way I am
Why should I pretend I like
To roam from door to door
Maybe I'll just kill myself
I just don't care no more

Because
I'm not satisfied
Everything I've tried
I don't like the way
Life has been abusing me

Who, I said who would care if I was gone
I never met no one
Who'd care if I was dead and gone
Who, I said who needs me to care for them
Nobody needs me
Why should I just hang around?
Why should I just sit and watch
While the others smile
I just wish that someone cared
If I were happy for a while

Because
I'm not satisfied
Everything I've tried
I don't like the way
Life has been abusing me

Wow!

17. 1:13:01 Wowie Zowie

Wowie Zowie, your love's a treat
Wowie Zowie, you can't be beat
Wowie Zowie, baby, you're so neat
I don't even care if you shave your legs

Wowie Zowie, baby, you're so fine
Wowie Zowie, baby, please be mine
Wowie Zowie, up and down my spine
I don't even care if you brush your teeth

I dream of you each mornin'
I dream of you each night
Just the other day I got so shook up
I dreamed of you in the afternoon

Yo' mama
Yo' mama
Yo' mama
[Throw her on the street ... your daddy's ...]

I dream of you each mornin'
I dream of you each night
Just the other day I got so shook up
I had a flash in the afternoon

Wowie Zowie, baby, love me do
Wowie Zowie, and I'll love you too
Wowie Zowie, baby, I'll be true
I don't even care if your dad's the heat
I don't even care if your dad's the hurt
I don't even care if your dad's the shirt
I don't even care
I don't even care . . .

18. 1:15:29 I Don't Even Care

Don't even care
Simmons don't care
And Chester don't care
I
Don't even care
Tom don't care
And Ruthie don't care
I
Don't even care
Marty don't care
But Zack is square
I
Don't even care
[...] don't care
'Bout the [...] out there
I
(Get down)
Don't even care
Simmons don't care
Chester don't care
I
([...])
Don't even care
Ruthie don't care
And Tommy don't care
I
(Ow-wow-wow-wow)
Don't even care
Marty don't care
But Zack is square
([...])
But I don't care
([...])
But I don't care
([...])
But I don't care
([...])
Yeah . . .

19. 1:16:46 Let's Make The Water Turn Black

Say!

Now believe me when I tell you that my song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know
Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps and chairs to San Ber'dino squares
And I still remember Mama with her apron and her pad
Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little creatures on display

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
A marvel to be seen: dysentery green
While Kenny and his buddies play a game out in the back
Let's make the water turn black

We see them after school in a world of their own
To some it might seem creepy what they do
The neighbors on the right sat and watched them every night
I'll bet you'd do the same if they was you

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little boogers on display

Ronnie
(Ronnie)
Ronnie
(Ronnie)
Ronnie
(Ronnie)
In the Army

Kenny
(Kenny)
Kenny
(Kenny)
Kenny
(Kenny)
Counting boogers

Ronnie
(Ronnie)
Ronnie
(Ronnie)
Ronnie
(Ronnie)
In the Army

Kenny
(Kenny)
Kenny
(Kenny)
Kenny
(Kenny)
Counting boogers

Ronnie
In the Army now
Kenny
Counting boogers now
Marty's
In the box office
[...] is
In the corner now

20. 1:21:19 Dupree's Paradise Introduction

FZ: This is the story of a bar, ladies and gentlemen. The name of this bar is Dupree's Paradise Lounge, it's located on Avalon Blvd.—or used to be located on Avalon Blvd., I haven't been there for quite a few years—but Dupree's is a place where we used to be able to go on Sunday mornings for a, a jam session. You know, when you're an umployed musician you like to go out some place and play, because you've been up all night looking for work or some other form of recreation. Dupree's Paradise Lounge used to offer a marvelous place to get together at six o'clock in the morning. Let me describe it to you. Yes, that's it. That's more like Dupree's Paradise. Okay. Chester, get funky one time. Hey! That is funky. That's right.

21. 1:22:22 Dupree's Paradise

FZ: One, two, three, four . . .

FZ: Ready?

22. 1:31:48 Oh No

FZ: One, two, three, four . . .

Oh no, I don't believe it
You say that you think you know the meaning of love
(Do you really think it can be told?)
You say love is all we need
You say with your love you can change
All of the fools, all of the hate
I think you're probably out to lunch

Oh no, I don't believe it
You say that you think you know the meaning of love
You say that you really know
I think you should check it again
How can you say what you believe
Will be the key to a world of love?

All your love will it save me?
All your love will it save the world
From what we can't understand?
Oh no, I don't believe it

23. 1:33:19 Son Of Orange County

And in your dreams
You can see yourself
As a prophet
Saving the world
The words from your lips
(Expletive deleted)
I just can't believe you are such
(Such a crook, such a crook)
A crook

I just can't believe
You are such a crook
I just can't believe
You are such a crook
I just can't believe
You are such a crook
I just can't believe
You are such a crook

24. 1:38:53 More Trouble Every Day

Well I'm about to get sick
From watchin' my TV
Been checkin' out the news
Until my eyeballs fail to see
([...])
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
And when it's gonna change, my friend
Is anybody's guess

So I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
(And I'm) hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear them sayin'
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Wednesday I watched the riot
I seen the cops out on the street
I watched them throwin' rocks and stuff
And chokin' in the heat
I listened to reports
([...] Druggie Daisy)
About the whisky passin' around
([...])
([...] whisky, I pass it)
I seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin' down
I watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear them sayin'
There's no way to delay
(Good God!)
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
(What you said?)
(Come on now, brother!)

Watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear them sayin'
(Every time I hear them sayin', yeah, yeah)
(Well)
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' . . .

FZ: Go ahead, George!

George: Get down, Simmons!
Jeff: Hey, hey, welcome to [...]!

FZ: One, two . . .

25. 1:49:55 Apostrophe'

FZ: . . . three, four . . .

FZ: Jeff Simmons on guitar, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals, Tom Fowler on bass, Ruth Underwood on bass drum!, Chester Thompson on assorted drums, George Duke on keyboards.

27. 1:56:49 Camarillo Brillo

She had that Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red

She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo

She said she was a Magic Mama
(Oh yeah)
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(Actually I couldn't come in right about that moment)

And so she—

FZ: Hey, come on! Everybody give a shot at this guy down here trying to make the audience look like they're having a good time. If this isn't the most fraudulent ridiculous Hollywood ending to a television show I've ever seen. Everybody watch him going, "Herna-herna-herna-herna . . ."

And so she wandered through the door-way
(Ooh yeah)
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room

Well, I was born to have adventure
(Oh yeah)
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
(God, this is fraudulent!)

She stripped away her rancid poncho
(Peek-a-boo)
An' laid out naked on the floor
(Oh yeah)
We did it till we were un-concho
And you can't say that on television any more

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(Hey, I couldn't come in then)

And so she wandered through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I would just love it in her room

Well, I was born to have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She stripped away her rancid poncho
(Just like this)
An' laid out naked by the floor
We did it till we were un-concho
And it was useless any more
Now George, make her dance!

George: Oh yeah . . .

Musical Performances by:
FRANK ZAPPA
GEORGE DUKE
RUTH UNDERWOOD
NAPOLEON MURPHY BROCK
CHESTER THOMPSON
TOM FOWLER
JEFF SIMMONS

Special Appearances by:
CAL SCHENKEL
BRUCE BICKFORD
MEATBALL

Directed by:
AHMET ZAPPA

Produced by:
FRANK ZAPPA
AHMET ZAPPA
JOE TRAVERS

Produced for UMe by:
JEFF FURA
HOLLAND GRECO

Edited by:
JEREMY RHODES
JOHN ALBARIAN

Sound Recording by:
WALLY HEIDER RECORDING
KERRY McNABB

2024 Stereo, Dolby Atmos, & 5.1 Mixes by:
ERICH GOBEL & KARMA AUGER at STUDIO1 LA

Audio Transfers:
JOE TRAVERS & RODNEY PEARSON at UMRK 2015

Video Transfers:
DAVID CROSTHWAIT at DC Video

Color Correction:
STEVE PEER

Title Design:
MICHAEL MESKER

Picture Modernizations:
VANDERQUEST

Production Manager:
ALEX SALE

Product Manager:
ASHLEY SLATER

UMe PR:
TIM PLUMLEY

All Musical Selections:
Composed & Arranged by FRANK ZAPPA
Except "Apostrophe" written by Frank Zappa, Jack Bruce, and Jim Gordon
Published by MUNCHKIN MUSIC, CO. (ASCAP)

Special Thanks to:
BRUCE RESNIKOFF
JANE GOWEN
ANDREW DAW
BENJAMIN REED
KATIE FEE
GWEN PALACIOS
ANDREW LABARRERE
KAYLA RAMIREZ
REED BOVEE
RICHARD SCHELTINGA
GADI HAREL
MELANIE STARKS
SHANA ZAPPA
HALO ZAPPA
ARROW ZAPPA
BRITTANY USHER
GIANELI USHER
DICK DARLEY
MORT LIBOV
JERRY SOUCI
PAUL HOF
COY FEATHERSTON
EVERYONE AT UMe
And the cheapest, greatest studio audience in all of TV history.

Bruce Bickford's animation appears under license from The Zappa Trust.

Tour footage shot by Frank Zappa courtesy of the Vault.

FZ: Thank you very much for helping us out with our show tonight. Appreciate it.

2:03:09 — end —

 

Bonus

Time Is Money (Excerpt) 02:09

Time Is Money (excerpt)

. . . planet
Was extremely fine

Time is money
Money, money
Yes, time is money
Money, money
Yes, time is money
Money, money
Yes, time is money
Money, money
Yes, time is money
But
Space is a long, long time
At my lonely room
In the cosmic night I ponder the vast expanses
Between your puny world and mine

From my Couch-In-The-Sky
As my planet goes by
I behold all your misery below there
I have seen all your lying
And crying, and dying
And, believe me
Your planet is nowhere!

Space is a very long time!

And if the equation
As set forth above
Is proved when we get to
The bottom line
The Powers Financial
I'll hold o'er your world
Will complete my fantastic design

And the whole Equivalent Earth shall be mine!

And the whole Equivalent Earth shall be mine!

And the whole Equivalent Earth shall be mine!

Echidna's Arf (Of You)—Incomplete 03:59

Echidna's Arf (Of You)—Incomplete

Napoleon: Well, well . . .

FZ: Diddle-diddle-dit-diddle-diddle-dit
Ruth: Wait, wait, what?
FZ: Diddle-diddle-dit-diddle-diddle-dit . . . Ready?
George: [...] get that buzz out. Something's going in here.
Engineer: [...] stop [...].
FZ: Better.
Engineer: Okay [...].

Art Studio Outtakes 02:23

Art Studio Outtakes

FZ: Gus . . . Excuse me, Gus. Wop! What are you doing, Calvin?
Calvin: Hi, Frank!
FZ: So nice to see you again.
Calvin: I'm developing a new organic concept for an album cover.
FZ: Yes? Could you mind explain this to me?
Meatball: [...] pushed me over and bite me!
FZ: Okay. Do it again.
Meatball: I'm sorry, Dick.
FZ: Go ahead.
Meatball: [...].
Calvin: Frank?
FZ: Yeah. Organic spewage concept.

Dick: Well, get him to go out right out of the way. Get him out of the way.
FZ: Hey, Gus . . .

Meatball: I got some, I got some small in there, see, this would work better.
Calvin: You do it.
Meatball: Yeah, wait a minute.
FZ: While you do that, I think that you've probably have seen already this material here, the, the, uh, clay forest which is being produced at no . . . I walked to the wrong spot, Godamn it! Let's back and do this . . .

Dick?: [...] I beg your pardon? [...]

FZ: How does it work?
Bruce: I'm moving the eyes along, I'm done with that now, I'm just done. All you have to do is just move it a very slight amount and then you take the picture and you move it again and just keep going and you can pick up speed after a while and making sure each time you get your fingers out from in front of the lens before you take a picture. That's, that's all you gotta now.

The Amazing Mr. Bickford (Excerpt) 03:35

The Amazing Mr. Bickford (excerpt)
A glimpse at what Bruce Bickford was working on in the Art Studio . . .

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted
Site maintained by Román García Albertos
http://www.donlope.net/fz/
Transcription for new material by Román
The parts on the soundtrack album are printed this way
This page updated: 2025-06-05