Zappa '66 Vol. 1: Live At TTG Studios

FZ: Hello, there. I just got done working at the Whisky à Go-Go. It sure was wonderful. We went down there tonight and had a won— We had one heck of a really wonderful time for the kids. We played two little shows for 'em and really rocked out. We played a bunch of commercial poop that would make you just . . . dance! Boy, it was really wonderful for you. A-HEM! And I screamed my throat out. And at this moment I'm waiting to eat a TV dinner and drink a glass of milk with ice cream in it. And that'll all be very wonderful. And now back to your host.

Because it's television. We're gonna make a— We're gonna make a real teen-age attempt not to sell out [...] . . . two . . . one, two, three, four . . .

FZ: Thank you.

Michael! Michael!
Gonna flash, man . . .

FZ: Please stand right here, okay?
Right.
FZ: Stand up!
Stand.
FZ: Stand up.
Stand right here.
What's the name of this choir again, Frank?
FZ: Uh . . .
Stand up.
Stand up.
The Mucus-Stickers Society . . .
Uh, uh . . .
Society Admiration Thing . . .
United Mutations.
FZ: Gongs and stuff. Play the gong.
. . .
Hi!
Hi!
. . .
Anybody have any wax paper?
Ah-hah!
Anybody got some cig—
Never touch the stuff.

You blew it.
FZ: Now wait a minute. The idea is to make sure they never know what you're saying, right?
Right.
Right.
FZ: This is rock 'n roll and it started out with people singing with gym socks in their mouths, right?
Right.
Right.
FZ: One thing I want make sure people hear and that is "Tommy, come back, I love you." Ready?
Okay.
FZ: Okay, we'll start out with "Tommy, come back, I love you."
No, I ain't seen one.
FZ: And if anybody can think of any other words to the song, start singing them, right?
Okay.
FZ: And the rest of you, look, as soon as you sense, as soon as you sense that one of your compatriots up there has got some more words to the song, start going, "Ooh wah . . . ooh," and fill in the background, okay? So we'll start out with a massive "ooh wah." One, two, ready?

OOH WAH
OOH WAH

Ooh wah
Ooh wah
Ooh wah . . .

Tommy, come back!
Tommy, come back!
Tommy!
I love you!
Tommy!
I love you!
Tommy, come back
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
Tommy, oh, Tommy, oh, Tommy
Come back
Come back
Back . . .
Come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back . . .

Right . . .
'51 Chevy . . .
Gravy train . . .

Tommy!
Tommy!
Tommy, Tommy . . .
Where are you?

That was the sound of a . . .
I've never heard of . . .

Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

Hratche-plche

Oh, hey, hey, here, more, give me more of that!
I want some more of the TV dinner!

Dancing down on the beach and
Singing
And having fun
And kissing and hugging
And surfing and doing something
Listening to the radio
Chicken pot pie
Chicken pot pie
Chicken pot pie
Chicken pot pie . . .

FZ: Hey! A new and startling visual effect for pukes all over America who're gonna watch this show, which is called Sex In The '60s . . .
Oh, I want some right now.
FZ: . . . guys, really got it on now. Here's my new plan. With a very specialized type of microphone pick-up which means swinging over here like this, I want all of you, when they turn the cameras on to start walking off this thing as if you were graduating, and then roll on the floor while we start playing, writhing in agony, making your favorite noise. Would you please do that? Because, you know—
No no, yeah!
Yeah!
FZ: Okay? Okay.
Can I bring my '51 Chevy?
FZ: Bring your '51 Chevy. Now, now, wait a minute, I— We'll have a, a brief rehearsal without the rolling. Now, ready, look. It's like this. Don, can you play Pomp And Circumstance?
Heh heh, oh, yeah!
FZ: On the organ.

FZ: Start walking down slowly, one by one . . . And then as you get about here, we'll start playing something insane and . . .
And just, and just make love to each other.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, no! Oh, no, no!
FZ: All right.
Oh oh, God.
FZ: Ready?
Mike Martin is not gonna like it.
FZ: You got the teen-age camera ready?

FZ: Pomp And Circumstance, take one!

Oh . . . baby
Oh, baby

Let's twist again
Like we did last summer

FZ: Hey, hey! Hey! Under the microphone! Yeah. Hey! What d— What do you kids think of planned parenthood? What do you think of planned parenthood? You like the idea of planned parenthood?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
FZ: That do anything for ya? You don't like it?
. . . All over.
FZ: You don't dig it at all, do ya?
No, man.
FZ: What do you think about legalizing abortion?
Yeah!
FZ: Anybody for legalizing abortion?
Yeah!
FZ: Abortion! Abort! Abort! Abort! Abort! Abort!

FZ: Ah, hey, listen, I've just been instructed that they wanna, they wanna fake some more teen-age dancing shots. I got a great plan, kids. Everybody get out there and do the twist one time so they can turn the camera on ya.
. . . twist! Do the twist!
FZ: Do a lot of clean dancing like on the Dick Clark Show. Everybody . . .
Everybody twist!
FZ: Everybody get your partner now.
Okay, dance . . .
Let's twist again . . .

Oh, yeah, let's twist again . . .
Rock, rockin' twist
It goes like this
That rockin' twist
You do the rockin' twist
You dance all night
Rock 'n roll
Dance all night
Do the stroll
Rockin' twist
It goes like this
Rock, oh . . .
In my Mustang
Making it down the highway

FZ: All right, freak out now! . . . I don't wanna lose the emotional impact of any of this, but unfortunately I'm— I, I have to give these messages to ya. Now, the great commercial God wants us to freak out. Yeah. Act real freaky, kids, so you really think you're having a lot of fun. They're gonna take some more pictures of ya and then the smoke'll come out and the lights'll flash on and off. And everybody home will really get their rocks off on this one and then pretty soon we can stop doing it. Okay, ready? Everybody freak out! One . . . Oh, this'll be— We'll play something strange, "Electric Banana," ready?
Yeah!

FZ: All aboard for "The Electric Banana"! One, two, three, one, two, three . . .

Work, baby, work!
Yeah, yeah, work, work!

I could be a slave
For the rest of my life
As long as I know
That you'd be my wife

No matter what you do
Can't hide my love for you

You treat me bad, girl
I won't cry or moan
I'll work real hard
Every day
And bring my gold back home
Oh, I don't care how you treat me
I don't care how you treat me

Just as long as I know that you're gonna come home eventually, darling
'Cause you know that I love you
Always by my side
It is wonderful
Kiss me tightly
Lovey dovey
Goo-goo
Beep beep
And la la

No matter what you do
Can't hide my love for you

You stay out late, girl
I won't cry, I won't cry
Tell me that I'm stupid
I like my women cruel
Oh, I don't care how you treat me
I don't care how you treat me

As long as you come home eventually
Bring home a TV dinner
TV guide
We'll eat it

FZ: Then you eat it, the TV dinner or something that you munch on.
Ray: Then we'll eat it.
FZ: Showmanship is great, isn't it, kids? The suspense that builds up when you wonder when we're gonna start playing again . . .
Ray: This is . . .
FZ: What the heck are they gonna do next? It's really exciting, isn't it?

Hold it
On second thought I don't need you anymore
'Cause there's a girl
Long time ago
That deep in my heart there's this story untold . . .

In my heart
There's a story untold
Of a girl who left me standing
Standing in the cold
And since she went away
I ain't seen a happy day

Well, I hope and I pray
She'll hear my plea
And maybe some day
She'll come back home to me
For here in my heart
There's a story untold

After all was said and done
You said I was the one
Well, darling
I found I was wrong
You fooled me from the start
You said we'd never part
You made a fool of me
And then you broke my heart

Well, I hope and I pray
She'll hear my plea
And maybe some day
She'll come back home to me
For here in my heart
There's a story untold

After all was said and done
You said I was the one
Well, darling
I found I was wrong
You fooled me from the start
You said we'd never part
You made a fool of me
And then you broke my heart

Well, I hope and I pray
You'll hear my plea
And maybe some day
Come back home to me
For here in my heart
There's a story untold
Story
Story untold

No matter what you do
Can't hide my love for you

You treat me bad, girl
I won't cry, no, I won't moan
I'll work really hard
For the rest of my life
To bring everything back home, yeah
I don't care how you treat me
I don't care how you treat me
Zoom . . .
Zoom . . .

Mike Cole:

Would you like to describe the other members of your little, uh, uh, band?

FZ:

Well, we got a Mexican. We have a fat Irish, uh, fellow, who used to be a bartender and a carpenter. Plays tambourine, sings now. The Mexican, we call him "Cuñao," otherwise, that's translated loosely as "brother-in-law." Cuñao plays the bass. He's marvelous.

Ah, let's see. Oh, and— We keep changing personnel though. You gotta understand that our band is constantly in flux, because most of 'em can't stand to play in the band. They really hate what they're doing. They hate to work for me and they don't like their manager at all. So we keep firing people all the time—we fired a couple of guys last week. And we keep putting new ones in.

And so constantly the band keeps changing sounds, 'cause we never know—excuse me, I'm about to burp and I'm trying not to do it on the radio—band keeps changing sounds and we never really know what we're gonna sound like, 'cause we don't know what kind of instruments are gonna be playing. You see? That's why we had two drummers, in case one of 'em quits.

Mike Cole:

Hah hah.

FZ:

You know, it really keeps you safe.

But of course, the real reason is because one plays the regular drumset and the other one plays the timpani. He used to be— Billy, the guy who plays the timpani—this is in all seriousness, folks, and, Mike, this would— Hey, this should really interest you, because I know you're aesthetically oriented—that he used to play timpani for the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra! And that was— I don't know, uh, probably— I don't know whether it was under the baton of Zubin Mehta at that time or whoever it was but, Billy used to play the timpani down there. And we're really happy to have him with us. He also used to play drums for Skip Battin & The Batmen, ah hah hah hah! Oh, wonderful, but we won't go into that.

Mike Cole:

[...]

FZ:

What d'you wanna know? My— Oh, that's not the rest of the guys in the band. Who else we have? We have a Cherokee Indian who plays the other drums. And then we have this guy who appeared on the first night of our engagement wearing, uh, a beaded version of a doctor's hat, you know, with the reflector around his head, and some, uh, luminous rags soaked in kerosene, which we ignited during the middle of the second set. Hah. He didn't appear tonight.

Mike Cole:

Hah hah. Wonderful.

FZ:

That was the first teen-age immolation, right there on the stage of the Whisky à Go-Go. Then we got in a lot of trouble with the fire marshal over that. But it's one of the most unusual things in this business. Most bands get busted for possession, and here we are getting busted for burning our piano player.

Mike Cole:

Hah hah.

FZ:

But listen, when that hits Variety, perhaps then we'll be stars. Who knows? We're trying real hard! But— But it takes more than just trying hard to be a star. It takes a lot of phone calls and getting up early in the morning. And lot of greasing. Lot of interviews, a lot of lies. A lot of, you know, nonsense, that's what it is. It's baloney. It's really baloney, Mike. That's true.

Mike Cole:

Ah. What about the— It looks like a new member that's in your band had a suit on and I— It, it seems kind of a shock to see a, a member of The Mothers with a suit on.

FZ:

Well, Mike—pardon me, Mike.

Mike Cole:

All right.

FZ:

Folks out there might think I'm drinking something really terrible, but it's milk! With ice cream in it! It's not bad at all.

Ah, the man with the suit—his name is Del Kacher—oops, I shouldn't have said that! Oh, golly, he'll really be upset. No. He wants everybody to know that he's playing with the band. But he's an excellent guitarist, a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh. He has so much technique it would just stun your mind. He sounds like Les Paul and Mary Ford together. Minus the tape recorder. He's really a monster. But unfortunately his taste in clothes is disgusting.

Mike Cole:

Hah hah.

 

Freak out
Freak out
Freak out
Freak out

FZ: Everybody jump around and go crazy so America can watch ya.

One big khaki sack
I took my lunch to school
Had one big khaki sack
I gave it to my partner
And he handed it right back
'Cause I had
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Have an apple

[...]
That's the American way.
Get up! Stay in line!
Shut up! Get back in line!
Straighten up!
[...]
Shut up! Get back in line!

FZ: Keep on freaking, kids. We'll be with you in a minute. In this episode we find Ray Collins disguised as a middle-aged eunuch. Are you guys ready?
Ray: I give my favorite impersonation of Ann Blyth.
FZ: One, two, three, four . . .

A moonbeam through the night
So bright
Reveals your eyes
I see your lovely face
And in that magic moment
I realize
The love I have for you
My dear
Is real
And very true

Love
If it is a real love
Knows no end
And stands
Taller and stronger
Than any tree
And I know
The love I have for you
Will never end
And so my love
I offer you
A love that is strong
A heart that is true

A moonbeam through the night
So bright
Reveals your eyes
I see your lovely face
And in that magic moment
I realize
The love I have for you
My dear

(OO-OH)

Love
If it is a real love
Knows no end
And stands
Taller and stronger
Than any tree
And I know
The love I have for you
Will never end
And so my love
I offer you
A love that is strong
A heart that is true

My love for you, my dear
It's so true, my love, for you, for you
Oh, honey
My love is true

Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables
Victory through vegetables

Okay, everybody eat a big vegetable!

Stop!

We're havin' a freak out
And everybody
Take your clothes off

We're havin' a freak out
A freak, freak, freak out, baby
Oh, mama

We're havin' a freak out, baby
Down at the malt shop, baby

FZ:

Sure been lovely having you, kids. Now everybody can go outside and breathe freely.

And now that you have all finally graduated, I think it'll be wonderful when you all go out there and become real estate operators, plumbers, dentists . . .

Oh no, it's Mark. Yeah, it's over.